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Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Panic in Detroit



Yesterday I woke up in a complete and utter panic.  I couldn’t find my glasses.  Anywhere.

I tore through the bedroom and the office, looking for them. I had somewhere to be, I was running late and how was I going to drive without my glasses?  My purple glasses?

Here’s the thing folks – I DON’T WEAR GLASSES.  Yeah – scary.

Honestly, I was in a complete tear around the bedroom looking for them.  Then I went into another room – the office - because really, that is the next most logical place for them to be – IF I WORE THEM…

It was in the office that I realized, um, yeah – I can see AND I don't wear glasses...crap.

In all fairness, I used to wear glasses, I got them when I was just six years old and I couldn’t see two inches in front of my face without them, but it has be fifteen years, since I had Lasik surgery (twice) to fix them – FIFTEEN…..YEARS….

Threw my whole day off.

They say if you look for something long enough you will find it. 

So next time I wake up in a panic because I can’t find something – I promise it will be for that Aston Martin DB9 that so far still hasn’t found its way into our garage.  And its Jaguar XKE convertible older cousin that it is off playing on the roads and racetracks with.

Or the seven million dollars that I think is the perfect amount of money to get you through life comfortably, that still is missing from our bank accounts.

Or our hut in Fiji, or the Spanish Villa on the hill overlooking the water, with a lap pool and two acres of land.  

That is what I will be in a panic looking for next time.  Do you think if I call and report any of them stolen, the police will find them and “return” them - to me - their rightful owner?

Um yeah – I lost my hut in Fiji.  I have no idea where it is – I’ve actually never been there – but you see I woke up this morning and just knew it wasn’t where I left it – you know, in Fiji, where I’ve never been.  Can you find it for me?  If you do, I promise, you can spend a week at it every year – on us!!