Friday, June 27, 2014

Dingle Balls and Food Baggies (Re-Post)

Hi guys - I have an interview today - which is why I have been missing - study, study, study - phone interview, study, study, study,shop - face to face interview, deep breath - drink....  So today is a re-post from January 16, 2013.  Enjoy and I hope to see you back here Wednesday!!
What on earth, you may be asking – do these two things have in common?  Dingle balls and food baggies??

Well my friends, the answer is - the kitchen shears.   
Hmm, the kitchen Shears?  Yes indeed.

The ones above are ours – a nice pair, Fiskars, we have had them for many, many years.  
They’ve been well used, banged around and super glued, yet they still prevail, like they know they have a mission – to be THE kitchen shears for the lifetime of the family and dangit – they are going do just that!

Again you ask – dingle balls and food baggies? And again I say yes and anything else that is in the kitchen that needs to be snipped open or snipped off.  Are you getting the picture?  If your house is like ours the back door leads right into the kitchen.  And yes, it’s a very busy place that kitchen.

So when you have a bag of say frozen peas that needs to be open, you reach into the junk drawer for the kitchen shears, likewise for a package of bacon, popsicles, boil in bag rice, frozen pastry bags, frosting packs, flea and tick medicine, super glue tips, batteries, animal treat bags, mail in bubble wrap envelopes AND when the doggie comes in with something stuck to her fur – for example dingle balls – you grab the kitchen shears before that stuff gets tracked all over the house! 

Has no one ever considered that the same blade that is used to remove the dingle balls, or tar or whatever other sticky and nasty thing that comes in from the outdoors (and yes the poisonous flea medicine in the little tubes) is the same blade that touches the bag of already cooked sticky boil in bag rice or the squeeze up popsicle you are about to feed your kid…. 

Yeah – something to think about.

How come we do not have separate scissors for things that occur in the kitchen, i.e. one for foodie items and one for EVERYTHING else?  Why?   

Hasn’t it just always been this way?  Can’t you picture the black or red handled scissors from your youth that were in your parents, aunts or grandmas kitchen?  Isn’t this where you learned of the vital importance of kitchen shears and carried it over to your own house? Aren’t they convenient and aren’t you proud every time you can find them?  

Why it is that no one has ever considered the nastiness of it all?

And yes, I do have separate shears for cutting vegetables like scallions and herbs, but those live in the knife block and they really are an entirely different kind of scissor.   

So kids, I propose a movement, that we have TWO, yes TWO pairs of kitchen shears- one for food like items and one for everything else. 

I know, this is a big shift from the norm and it will require that they live in different areas or there will be no differentiation between the two.  So head the store for a spiffy new pair and then pick out a second drawer for them to live in and give your new scissors a hearty welcome!  

Then watch your husband and kids use them to cut the gum out of Fido’s paw – yeah, guess it won’t work – maybe if we just toss them into the dishwasher every once in a while we’ll feel better about it all?  Sorry I brought it up…. 

Monday, June 23, 2014

End of Life Recycling?

Flipping through a Groupon, I came upon this offer.  It’s for one of those little digital muscle zappers.  If you have ever been to a Physical Therapist you know what I am talking about.  They hook these little wonder devices to your sore muscles and they zap away, flexing the muscle and taking away the stiffness.  
Owning a home device would indeed be a great idea.  Except you always wonder if the home device will be as good, especially when it is the size of an iPod, instead of on a cart – like the ones at the PT’s. 

So, I went on to read about this fascinating little device and someone has a sense of humor…
Have a read - I've highlighted the most important line for you.

I guess when you get done using it and have used up all the little white sticky pads and you find they are probably more expensive to reorder than this  pocket sized device as a whole – you just shove it in a pita and have it for lunch!

I’ll have mine with a little lettuce and tomato; otherwise I think it might be a bit to dry and possibly metallic.  Can I get a Coke with that?

Monday, June 16, 2014

Positively Prehistoric

As promised, here is my fish murderer.   If you don’t know the story, please refer to my post “Did You Say A Pelican?” from 5/30/2014.

Big, giant, massive prehistoric bird, whom I am certain - does not belong in the Detroit area. 

Since he returned again this week and I had my phone on me – I snapped a shot of him flying to the roof of the house behind us.  Bold creature this bird was.  

After I yelled at him out the bedroom window at 8:00am – he just looked over at me – standing there, scoping out the pond.  I believe the hollered phrase was “GET OUT OF MY YARD!!!!” so the neighbors must have thought I had a stalker or something – which in essence – we actually did. 

Damn bird.

He had no interest in going anywhere, his giant self just looked at me.  

So I ran out the back door and charged him, which my apparently non scary self just prompted him to turn, look at me then simply take flight to the closest roof, where he stayed.  A half an hour.  And I stood there a half an hour – in the rain – randomly yelling at the air towards the roof, over the six foot privacy fence.  

The behind me neighbor who I am sure had no idea what was on their roof – must have thought why is there a crazy woman yelling towards our house “Get Out Of Here!!”  so early in the morning?  Except maybe they still thought I had a stalker or something and in that case, thanks for the help… 

We did not get his photo the first time when he came around to massively thin out our pond and this time we again provided a handy back yard diner.  He snagged yet another one.  

Sooooo, I have ordered a net for the pond – but I would say I am a little late – we are down to two fish – the giant Koi who is around 24 inches long that we have had for ten years and the remaining baby from last year who is like two inches big.  That’s it.  And they won’t come out of hiding – can’t say I blame them.  

Oh, and when he finally did live – he left this giant bird turd on their roof – thought you’d enjoy it.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

What's Shakin' Bacon (Re-post)

Hi all, crazy week - summer is officially here - with weddings, graduations, house guests, BBQ's and oh yeah - job interviews - talk about stressful!

So today and most like Friday will be re-posts.  But I did get a picture of the evil Pelican flying away today (oh - see post from 5/29/14)  so maybe I'll just post that on Friday - don't know.  Not sure if he had the final fishy snack - I think I caught him in time screaming out my bedroom window like a crazy person at 8:00am, then charging out the door at him.  Let's just assume Mr. Fish is hiding in his cave....

Today's re-post comes to you from 2/4/2013 - we've been double rowing on the water - morning and evening this week - so I'm starving, a bacon post just seems appropriate! Now off to make 50 copies of my resume for the job fair - wish me luck!!

Ok, we don’t eat bacon very often, but we do make breakfast every weekend, so on occasion I buy a package.   

Now we all know bacon isn’t especially good for you – and I’m talking the American kind (i.e. streaky bacon for my overseas friends), not the nice little ham slice the rest of the world calls bacon.  

Therefore this label that I took a picture of is not to tout how awful it is that 75% of the calories are from fat.  Of course this shouldn’t be surprising, because when you look at a slice of bacon before you cook it is indeed 75% fat. 

No, what is hard to see, but it is there in black and white is the fact that ONE slice of bacon is a serving. 

I’m sorry what?  Did you say ONE?  Then why are there 17 slices in a bag?  Do you think we have seventeen house guests over for breakfast in the morning?  

I just don’t understand how that can be? American bacon cooks up all small, curly and crispy – literally two bites worth each piece.  It’s a little salty piece of rarely enjoyed happiness.

Grocery store bought bacon is not something that you can peel a slice off here and there and use at will.  It comes all schmooked together in a non-resealable shrink wrap kind of package.  Basically it's a sliced block of meat.

It doesn’t “keep” in the refrigerator for very long.  Plus, if you freeze it – that’s pretty much it, once frozen - it’s a frozen solid block of bacon.  You have to cook it apart. 

Always thought I was doing a good thing when we brought a package home – we saw the package in two, one half goes in a zip-lock and is popped in the freezer for future use, the other half gets cooked up for breakfast.  

Now you are telling me that even after the package is cut in half, we are eating enough bacon for 8.5 people?  Along with the eggs, potatoes, toast and coffee???  

Fine, I’ve always had a giant appetite – breakfast for eight it is (or is that breakfast for four and a quarter if there are two of us?) I just wish I didn’t actually know the fact that ONE slice is a serving.  I think people gain weight when they are aware the servings are too big or there are too many calories – and if you are oblivious to those facts, well than nothing happens.  It’s a good system, I like it - works for me.

But now, now I know that a tiny slice of bacon = one serving.  The label says "Skillet Cooked" - uhh, does that make a difference, whether it is microwaved, oven cooked or pan fried?  No one is ever eating this stuff raw....

Just curious, anyone – did anyone out there know this???  One?  Unbelievable…. One little curly bacon piece – all alone.  Bacon should have friends, look how happy the three slices below look.

I suppose you could go to the butcher and ask for one slice - they might think you're nuts, but it is an option.  Take a number, wait in line, step up to order - Ah yes, I'd like one slice of Maple Hickory Smoked Bacon Please - oh yes, that will do it for today, thank you.

One is a lonely number, One can never have fun, One is a lonely number, One is always on its own…. (George Harrison)