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Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Float Down



Hey ma – i.e.  wo woof

Its 90 degrees outside again today – Woof woof WOOOOF woofwoof

Can I take my tube and go out on the water? – Arrr woof Arf Arf ARF?

Thanks ma, I’ll be home for lunch!!! – Yip Yip Yippee!!!

Monday, July 13, 2015

"Fast" Food



Is this a thing now?  Falling asleep in a drive-thru?

Two articles, right next to each other, in a “local” flyer had police reports of men falling asleep in a drive-thru.  ASLEEP - IN –A- DRIVE-THRU?????

Ok, Ok – apparently they were both under some intoxicating sort of substance, and fourth meal had called them to get a bite to eat – but really, is this common???

Poor drive-thru folks – as if working in a steaming hot fast food restaurant, with people angry about waiting even two minutes in line for their food – they now have to add this to things that could happen while at work.  

At what point do you realize the line isn’t moving because someone is asleep?  And who wants to be the person to go outside and check the cars at 11:38 at night?  Lord knows what you will find.

I guess on a positive note – they took their little naps while sitting still and didn’t fall asleep while driving down a highway….

Monday, July 6, 2015

"Fresh" Fruit




Oh the things that live in the crisper drawer of the fridge.

THIS IS NOT A LIME, I REPEAT- NOT A LIME!

I know, I know, it LOOKS like a lime – I agree it does.  But if you were up close you would realize that it is fuzz growing through the red bag – see where the bag disappears in spots?  

Terrible waste I tell ya, terrible waste.

I was an orange, a probably at one time a very delicious orange.  And not only is the green one super disgusting, it has infected the others – so they all must go.  

What a bummer.  

Please tell me I am not the only one that lets cucumbers turn to liquid and bananas collect more fruit flies than you can find in a produce section at an outdoor market.  

Of course, the bananas become this – but fuzzy green oranges – thank God for the bag, because no one wants to touch that!!  Science experiments weren't this successful in school.


Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Charlie's Web



I have a pet spider.  He lives in the bathtub.  Well – he’ not really a pet, but he’s been there a couple weeks, so I feel like we’re family now. 

I saved him from my hubby who was doing a removal of a fly that had landed in the tub and of course, couldn’t stay there.  You know, flies have to go – but the spider – I requested he stay, so he did. 

He’d been here a while already and he seems to like the big white tub.  We don’t use it in the summer time – just for big long winter soaks and it gets a good scrubbing before anyone soaks in it anyway. 

When I first saw the little guy, he couldn’t get out of the tub.  He kept crawling up the side and sliding back down.  And yes I took a video, it was entertaining.   But over the passing weeks, he has been up on the edge a few times – so I know he can leave if he wanted to.  I don’t think he wants to.   

It’s like a big giant skateboard park – all to himself.


Do you think I should start charging him rent?  You know like room and board – because there has to be something to eat in there or he would have left long ago, yes?  Again, we always scrubbed the tub before taking a bath – now I know it has been a good idea, can’t imagine what he is living on – don’t really want to either.
 
What should I name him?  Oh I hope it’s a him – one little spider in the tub – ok, five thousand little spiders in the tub – not so much…. Maybe I should reconsider this arrangement?

Friday, June 12, 2015

Mom, Can I Have Some Bubblegum?



Sure honey – let me get you some change for the gumball machine.  

Do you think your sister will want a pinwheel and your brother’s some toy swords while we are right here at the machine?

Ohhhhh, um honey, let’s run inside and see if they have some gum at the counter – the machine here is broken, yeah that’s it “broken”.

SEXY UNDIES, yes, sexy undoes in a bubble gum dispenser.  Where are you in life that you think – oh wait, does anybody have a Pound (Dollar)?  I need to stop real quick at the vending machine and grab a pair of underwear.  Thanks!

My darling niece was in Brighton last month and snapped this shot for me.  

As far as I know, we don’t have anything like this in America.  At least, not at the outdoor markets that align the public family beaches.  Possibly inside the restrooms on the wall, but never on a sidewalk, next to the toy Swords, with kids pinwheels sticking out of the back of it.  And certainly not in a bubblegum dispenser.  No really – I would bet money on that.  

Is it really that much of a necessity that it is front and center in a prime outdoor merchandising location?  What do the English do with their underwear that they need a dispenser on the public sidewalk for them?   Should I research this as a business side?  Is there a decent profit margin on underwear contained in plastic bubbles, stuck in old candy dispensers at the Metro Beaches?  Is there??   

Yeah, that’s what I thought – I'm pretty sure they don't sell well in England either.  I’m better off with my bet above….