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Saturday, January 28, 2017

Tennis Anyone?



Last Monday the husband and I went to the Australian Open – this has now been our second visit.  Last week we went on a Tuesday evening, key word – evening.  We thought it was interesting, so we went again.

You know what Australia is in January at 11:00AM in the morning?  It is HOT.  

We start out by missing the train.  I hate it when we miss the train, you can hear it coming, you know it’s on it’s way – you have two minutes to make the platform, but the walkway is closed because well, there’s a train coming to the station.  So you can’t cross – bye bye train… See you in 20 minutes.  You know hubby, it’s hot out here – did we bring water? No – hmmm.

Arrive at designated station; grab what is supposed to be a Gatorade from the vending machine – out comes a Diet Coke. Bleh.  Open Diet Coke – Bleh - hop on tram.

Arrive at Stadium, Diet Coke gone – Bleh – keep bottle to fill with water.

You know hubby, it’s hot out here, there is nowhere to fill the water, head to a bathroom.  Water full, tepid, but full.   We don’t have major stadium seats this time, general admission only, sit outside and watch game from lawn on lawn chairs, eat.  Drink tepid water.

You know hubby, it’s really, really hot out here.  Can we go inside, they let you inside in the hallways – even if you don’t have a ticket, can we go inside? We go inside, hubby finds a map of venue and the days schedule. Refill bottle with tepid water.

We are now off again, watching doubles match of four guys I have no idea who they are. Hubby says isn’t this great?  Umm, not really.  I check my phone, it’s 40 degrees, that’s 104 for us U.S. folk.  Hubby, it’s 40 degrees – can we find some shade?  Yeah the seats are good, I know right in the middle, but it’s HOT! 

Yeah, the ball moves fast, can we find some shade, I think I’m melting – look at the puddle of sweat on my seat.  Hubby hands me two Kleenex to put under my legs.  Ahh, thanks – surely that will do it.

Husband, I think it might be a mortal sin to keep your wife in the heat, surely it was on one of Moses tablets or something, Thou shall not cause your wife to melt at the Australian Open. Isn’t that one of the commandments or something? And why aren’t you melting too? He hands me the tepid water.

We go for a walk, he finds a vinyl seat to sit on.  Great find yes, but it’s vinyl, my body is like a slip and slide, I’m just gonna lean on this cement pillar, it’s cement, should be coldish right?  Trash collector guy rolls up with his giant bin, stops right where we are, parks it there, thanks – the smell and the heat are fabulous together.  Can we go home?

Oh, yeah – ok, we have not seen all the courts yet, you are correct.  Right, what a nice day you took off and yes, I am glad we’re here.  Off to another court.  It’s an outdoor court. There are kids playing doubles.  I don’t know them either.  One girl makes a crazy noise when she hits the ball.  I can’t comment on it – surely only parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles are in this stand out of love – and of course us.  

Drink a frozen Rose’, pretty sure I will live another five minutes now.

I look over.  Husband, why is everyone standing on the seats the wrong way facing that court taking pictures?  He doesn’t know, there’s nothing going on in that court according to his schedule.  But hubby, the crowd is huge around it.  He assures me it’s just the way in to the complex.  But hubby, EVERYONE is taking pictures, maybe it’s someone we’ve actually heard of? 


Grudgingly we leave the kids court.  Walk to where there is ‘nothing’ going on, can’t see anything – too many people around the court.  Look hubby, there’s a ramp with tons of people on it taking pictures, let’s go up there.  He says it’s just the entrance.  Big sign on ramp “Not a throughway”.  He consents to my persistence, Roger Federer.  It’s Roger Federer – just on the court volleying with another fella to make the people happy or something, his match is tomorrow.  It’s 40 degrees…why isn’t he melting?






Tell hubby I’m seriously dying here, must go inside. He finds ice cream, I will now live an additional 15 minutes.

We wander around the other courts, they are blessedly all empty, it’s almost changeover time for the evening games.  Can we go home now? I swear to you, I’m melting.  He hands me the tepid water.