Friday, September 27, 2013

Extreme Pink Slip

I had no idea I had all this power!!!

I bought a little trinket off ebay and this note accompanied it.

Can you read it?  The whole thing is kind of bizarre.

But apparently I can “KILL” (in caps, no less) “pretty Daisy” if I leave negative or even neutral feedback.

Holy cow!!!  So if I only kind of liked what I received and left neutral feedback “pretty Daisy” will die????   More so, she will KILL herself!!  Oh my…
Well, I’m quite sure I’m not going to “Message” her now!  But, thankfully, I liked the little trinket.
Whew…. All this pressure, I’m not sure the world is up things like this.  What a heavy weight.

I mean, how could you even sell anything on ebay if there was a chance someone wouldn’t like it and you would have to kill yourself?  I have it, right here, in writing, on a slip of pink paper – “pretty Daisy” promises us she will KILL herself.

Thank goodness, one more person get’s to stay alive today – because my little goodie is nice. 
But who’s to say Miss Daisy will be with us tomorrow?  What if someone doesn’t like their purchase or worse, just wants to see if she will actually do it?

I guess I’ll just have to watch her feedback, if anything neutral or negative appears – that’s it – no more trinket sales, no more feedback and no more pretty Daisy…. Could be a sad day indeed.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

He's Baaaacckk!!

Ok, so that is Jack Nicholson’s line in the Shining – but it’s still true – He is Baacckkk…..

Not Jack, but Chucky. 

Can you see him?  Yeah, that’s Chucky from Childs Play peeking at me in my car.  I don’t know, but if it were my SUV, I’d have a different riding companion. 

So I’m driving down the infamous Eight Mile yesterday (as I do every day of my life) and the car next to me is honking.  Living in the city, one just ignores the honking and goes right along with life – you never know what you might see if you look and trust me, you learn this the hard way.  So after a while, you ignore the crazy honking people.

Well, crazy honker got closer (judging by the side of the car, they have been too close before – a scrape here a ding there…)  

I give a super quick glance.  Huh.  

Well that explains my day, flippin Chucky is staring me down.
Really? Chucky? C’mon, Chucky?  In the car next to me?  On Eight Mile? Really?? 

Yup, there he is, picture proof folks, I can’t make this stuff up.  And again, proof why you shouldn't look at the crazy person (i.e. doll) next to you honking their horn wildly.

You all sleep tight tonight, ok?  Just keep an extra eye out for the black Chevy SUV driving down your street…..

Monday, September 23, 2013


This is a story that goes to show, you can never be too old to still be embarrassed by your parents.  This happened over five years ago, but the story is still funny and my sister and I still cringe.  

Our mother had been ill and spent some time in a rehab facility, where there are wonderful people who work with the grumpy, sore, unhappy and broken patients.  These facilities strive to bring the patients back to around to good. 

Our mother was there because she had been having trouble walking and climbing stairs, something that had came on very quickly.  Therefore she spent a significant amount of time in bed when she wasn’t working with the physical therapists.  The total time she spent in rehab was seven weeks, quite a long time to be out of your normal routine.

As happens with patients who are not mobile, they sometimes get bed sores, unfortunate, but normal in these circumstances.  Her particular malady had a name that syllabically started with the sound of an S.  I’m not in the medical profession, so I don’t remember the name – just that it started with an S sound and you didn’t hear the word every day, so it wasn’t familiar. 

The day came for mom to go back to her own home and my sister and I arrived at the set time to pick her up.  We packed the car with her things and then went back to accompany her out. The facility wheeled her to the door, like they do with all patients, and then she had to get up and walk to the car, which was parked in the front entrance.

It’s a busy facility – there are people everywhere, the parking lot was bustling with people walking to and fro.  My sister had opened the front passenger door for her and was waiting there to give her a hand into the seat.  

As soon as she opened the door and suggested she would help her to sit in the car my mom pronounced LOUDLY “Don’t rush me – I have syphilis”!!!!!


Horrified, my sister and looked at each other and then at ALL the people around us, who were looking at us in astonishment.   

Quickly and equally loudly I stated “No mother that is not what you have”!  She again, not being a quite woman – repeated “You girls are trying to rush me – stop it, can’t you see I have syphilis”?!!

Um, really at this point there is nothing you can do but hope that no one in the parking lot knows us and will repeat this verbal faux pas to another soul.  As far as I know, all is well, it's been a long time now (and fortunately for me, we do not live in the same city).

Mom of course, has been mobile and S-something free since then, a little bout of self mispronounced diagnosis can’t keep her down.

(Picture above off “Have you embarrassed you kids today”)

Friday, September 20, 2013

Avast Matey - It's Jolly Roger!

Snap on me eye patch and say Arrrr!  

Blimey, yesterday was “Talk Like A Pirate Day”, no really, it’s an official day – see -

Yeah, it’s been going on at least a decade – or at least that is the first time I heard of it and since I like Piratey things, I hope it continues for another 10 years!

Anyway, since it was “Talk Like A Pirate Day” – I went in search of all things piratey.

You’d think this would be a hard task, just wandering around looking for pirate things, but it wasn’t!

What I first saw yesterday while out rowing on the Detroit River (Aye Matey – keep control of those oars), was a giant sailboat.  It wasn’t a pirate ship per say, but it was painted a dull gray and it had to be 80 plus feet.  So, even though it was massive, it was understated in bondo gray, perfect if you are pirate and not a flashy millionaire.  No, I don’t have any pics – cameras in the Quads would be frowned upon, since you are using those hands to row and steady the boat, not sightsee…

Then I saw a guy zipping around a vacant parking lot in a homemade jobby with a sail.  Yes, I do have a picture of that, but decided that would be a whole other days post – so you don’t get that today either.

But what you did get if SO MUCH BETTER!!!  I couldn’t have made this up and the fact that I went driving around looking for piratey stuff makes this even more unbelievable.  Because really, while cruising around a random neighborhood, just how many times in your life do you see this??   

And on Pirate Day, no less!!

Sail Ho!! Do you see the size of this thing?  It’s a GIGANTIC ship model, in someone’s front window!  A GIGANTIC SHIP MODEL!!!! 

Ok, ok, it kinda looks like it might be a Viking Ship and from the other direction (the one I first drove by before I turned the car around and tried not to look voyeuristic,  while stopped in front of someone house snapping a photo) the sails had big red crosses on them.  I don’t know – felt kind of Viking-esque, but dammit, yesterday was Pirate Day and there was a big GIANT ship model in someone's front window!

Do you think it was just displayed to celebrate Talk Like A Pirate Day???  Or do you think it’s there all the time?  Ohh, if you have a GIANT model ship like this, chances are good you have more (of course, this HAS to be the crowning glory), do you think they change the “display” out to showcase mote model boats?  

And finally, do you think this house is that of a single man (Jack Sparrow, is that you)?  Or is mom’s a former wench and misses the good ole days at sea??

Shiver me timbers….

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Brain on Snooze

Sorry guys, My brain took a snooze today. 
So, since I promised you something new on Wednesdays for the Fall season and my humor thinker has taken a day off,  I am leaving you with a funny joke I read the other day.  Should make you smile! 


When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure. 
When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure. 
When you drink Whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems. 
When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems. 

Apparently, ice is really bad for you. Warn all your friends!!