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Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Protecting the Goods

Earlier this summer we passed this giant wooden Paul Bunyan-esque fella and I thought – what is he doing?

Gotta love America, we have all this crazy crap on country roads, like giant blueberries, trout, cast iron ovens, massive balls of string, big wooden men – you get the picture.

Then I took in the landscape and saw that he seemed to be the mascot for a golf ball driving range.

Ohhhhh – look someone made a funny – he’s protecting his “package” – hahaha.  See, his hands are placed very scientifically in front of him.

The next time we passed him on the way out to Harsens Island, I had my camera ready.  I was going to get this guy with his hands out front protecting him from those wayward golf balls.

Like really, if a golf ball hit your hand, wouldn’t that hurt like a bitch too??  Maybe break a small bone even?  

Of course, he is wooden, probably would just make a THUNK sound and then the ball would ricochet back at your head.  Hmm, how’s that for justice, everyone suffers and it was a crap golf shot too (or a pun perhaps even?)  Sorry guys, this whole thing is kind of going there… 

Anyway, picture snapped, uploaded and now as I write this I see – he is NOT protecting his package, he is actually missing his giant golf club.  

Probably snapped it in half when someone hit his hands - silly hacker.  Now without a club he must have decided the best thing to do was to take up this stance.  

Really, you don’t see many guys as big as Paul Bunyan in this day and age, he has to protect the jewels if he is going to survive another 100 years.  It’s Natural Selection you know…