Two weeks ago my computer died, I mentioned this in an earlier post, it did some sort of watercolor drippy screen thing and my screen saver was not a Dali. It’s been a real pain in the tuckus. (Not my atual computer shown above - apparently I am not the first...)
Now I don’t know any of my passwords, all my iTunes are on the old one, and that one is still Windows 7 -which I know exactly how to use.
Last Sunday I bought a new computer - Windows 8 and I are struggling to get along. I have only wanted to throw it across the room maybe fifty times, but the key is here that I haven’t thrown it across the room. Did you hear that brand new computer – I haven’t done anything mean to you at all.
Turned you on, loaded Office, struggled continually, you signed me on with my back up email and now everything including my Skype is attached to that, but really – I’ve been trying to get along with you and your super s-l-o-w Windows 8 system. I have.
So why are you dead? You are only nine days old? No life whatsoever. Not a light, not a click, not a whir – nothing – only darkness and silence. I only put you to sleep three hours ago. Were you so depressed to get me for an owner once I figured out the facial recognition thing this morning - that you just gave up and died in your sleep?
Come now – you weren’t cheap, this isn’t cool. My first mistake – you are NOT an HP. I knew when I bought you; you should have been an HP. You are an old brand, one that work computers are made of, but I never liked my work laptops – I really should have known better.
And now, an hour and twenty minutes into a service call with your mother company – they want to send me a new one. The man hasn’t helped me at all, I’ve been on hold and hour and fifteen of that hour and twenty. His only offer of help was to tell me to hold the power button down for ten seconds. Like I haven’t pushed that power button thirty times before I called you.
He wants to send me a new computer, which might be what most people want. Of course, it will be after I return this one, after he sends the documents, once they get mine in house they’ll send the new one – it will be like the first week of October if all moves as planned.
Come on, it’s nine days old, it’s just a glitch somewhere – work with me here.
So, behind your back I have signed on to my husband’s computer to “chat” with someone else. Someone who hopefully has a clue. And low and behold he does. Glory be!
Forty seven minutes later, but this time with constant contact and walk through instructions – we have disassembled and reassembled both the matte black and the shiny things in the back, and she now has light again.
In the mean time I told “Mike” to send me a new computer – just to get him off the phone. I was wielding a screw driver and trying not to lose a million little black screws and some weird looking tape. My patience with him was lost over an hour ago. This other fella is going to cancel that new computer order for me, now that she is up and running again.
What if I hadn’t had another computer to “cheat” on the phone guy with – you’d be wondering what happened to me for the month of September. Man, one company – two entirely different levels of service, but the one that worked was only available if you computer was actually running. Seems like an oxymoron huh?