Friday, February 28, 2014

Message Received

The peanut gallery has spoken.

Well, actually it has written – in purple sharpie, but the message is loud and clear – they don’t like my choice of natural soap selection – soap without those forced upon you anti-bacterial chemicals.

Bummer, it smells fabulous – all orangey and spring like (something we desperately need around here - spring).

Good thing I didn’t buy two bottles – they were a great price…. Actually I think they were on clearance.


Well soap, you might not lather that well – at all actually, but we will enjoy your happy scent around here for as long as you last!  Maybe you should ask your company to work on that lather thing – I’d give you another try if you came back “new and improved” –what d’ya think? 

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Inappropriate Comment

Um no, I haven’t.  Like that is ever a possibility, EVER in the history of mankind.  But thanks for asking?

Wait, no – not thanks for asking.  Not thanks for asking at all! 

And why are you asking?  You are my phone – why is my phone asking about my period.  This is not ok. No, this is not ok at all. 

I know women sync up when they are close, i.e. live together, work together, are on a sports team together – but you are my phone, we are not synced up – understand?  You are NOT a girl.  
You might sync up with my computer or my iPad, but WE, WE do NOT sync up.  Got it?

Hello? Big Brother, is that you?  Oh, I’d been wondering where you were – it took you long enough.  Yeah I know, I’m not on Facebook – I was trying to avoid you.   

Should I call you Big Sister?  Ok, well – welcome to my life, I guess….

Have a happy period – hahahhahahahaha, if you must share something – I would have picked something else, but that’s not up to me now is it?

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Aloha Wee!!!!! Awww Psych

We’re  having a heat wave – a tropical heat wave!!!!!!!!

Don’t know about where you are – but today it is a balmy 41 degrees outside and it is fabulous!!!!

Driving around in my car with the window rolled down, people walking around in shorts – everyone is smiling.

Oh, if you aren’t from these parts, anything over 39 degrees sometimes garners the shorts wearers – usually men, but they are sure happy to be wearing them (even if it is bizarrely cold for shorts if you think about it).

Now, I took a queue today from my Irish mother in law – it’s 40 degrees, the sun is shining, not a drop of rain in the sky – looks like it’s perfect weather to hang a load of laundry – so I did.  Isn’t it great? (Ok as much as I could get out without climbing a snow bank).

Piles of snow six feet high around the edge of the roads, and puddles of water in the middle from the melting.  It’s MELTING!!!  Yeah, like the wicked witch of the west – but so much better.

It’s been such a cruelly cold winter and I know this is premature, because it is ONLY February – we have a lot more blustery days ahead of us – but for now – 40 degrees is 50 degrees warmer than it has been for the last two months – pretty steadily –so we’ll take it and we’ll enjoy it.

As a matter of fact, I think we’ll have a few people over for a beer or two tonight – feeling like a celebration is in order.

Celebrate good times come on, dodododo do do do dododo!

****Live Update

GUH!  This is why I don’t like to write my posts in advance, I wrote the above yesterday while in a joyous festive mood – AND LOOK AT WHAT IT IS DOING OUTSIDE NOW!!!

Yeah – Big giant snowflakes falling from the sky, GIANT SNOWFLAKES.

What a difference a day makes – 24 little hours….. BooHoooo, who’s not joyous now….

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Leather Wedgie

What is that?  What does that say?  Why is that there?  What is that again?

Oh – it’s a coat hook.

Really, a coat hook????????????

Anybody, anybody want to guess where this said “coat hook” resides?  

And after that we should guess it’s age and how many times its host has been removed and repositioned closer to its cohorts over the years.

What – you say?  

Yeah – I say it too, but let me help out a bit here. 

We are to assume, as it is clearly marked, a “Coat Hook”.  OK, we got that – thanks.

Now, it is on the side of a seat, yes, a seat.  See the man’s striped shirt? Ok, got that?

Where is this seat?  Well, here’s the kicker – it’s on an airplane, in coach.


Is this a coat for Barbie dolls we will be hanging on this handy little hook?  Because I can think of no other coat in this world that is going to fit in the space between coach seats on a plane. 

The only reason I noticed this hook was because the man is “reclined” (which should be illegal in coach – oh you did have three inches for your legs, but now you have one – thanks reclining guy).

So, this is what I think –I've heard the average age of a large airplane is 40 years old (no one said the engines were that old, you can change an engine…).  Forty years ago, planes had plenty of space to sit and move around.  This seat could have been born forty years ago when there was possibly a ten inch space between the seats and one could actually hang a real human sized coat there.  

Plane interiors have been reconfigured so many times over the years that the ten centimeter space between the seats (filled with crumbs and grungy stuff) is the new norm and the only coat that is fitting on that hook is a coat of nail polish – which would leave you nine and three quarters centimeters to spare…..

(Ok, I looked up the average age of the big planes – it’s more like 18 – 20 years, but then my theory wouldn’t work, because 20 years ago, we might have had a bit more leg room – but there was still no way someone was wedging a coat between the seats on a “coat hanger” – just saying).