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Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Spelling Bee




Does anyone else get an enormous amount of catalogs in the mail around Christmas (i.e. now)?

Sometimes I get three of the same companies catalog in the mail on the same day (I’m talking to you Victoria’s Secret)!

Also I get catalogs for stuff that is completely out of my realm, based on the demographics of the neighbor hood we live in.  Wild (yet pretty) Sunday Church hats anyone?

Therefore to encourage the mail carrier to come more often to our home, every now and again I call the companies to get my name removed from their mailing list or the amount of catalogs sent a year reduced (because I do like an occasional Victoria’s Secret mailing, just not multiples in one day….)

Today I called four companies, two of which knew exactly what I was talking about, sympathized and helped me.

One, that said I didn’t exist, even though I had a catalog in my hot little hand and gave them the number in the yellow box (as asked) to prove they had me in their system.  

Later (about this company), I chatted to the friendly, competent, smart, lady at Vic Secret about this mystery mailing and she said, it probably came from someone selling my name and the company really doesn’t know it sent me a catalog, as another company may handle the catalog mailings who is not part of the 1-800 number on the back of the catalog and they are not the actual company (great)… 

And the fourth, from a well known and expensive home goods store (that I cannot afford, but like to peruse the catalog a couple times a year – not a couple times a week) who were startling idiots.

First the boy could not get my first name (its four letters).  He was not an outsourced foreigner for whom English was his second (or third) language, which would give him an excuse.

I had to repeat my address six times, six.  At the third request I asked if he could see my information in front of him on the computer screen.  He said yes it was there, but I was going too fast.  Fast?  By the fourth time I was spelling everything - S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G.

I asked again at time six, if it was on the screen in front of him and why wasn’t he just following along – he wasn’t typing it in was he?  He said no it was on the screen.  THEN HE SAID – I can’t spell.

Ooh……..

Now I know that the Customer Service job is thankless and hard and people get mad as you (as I was getting with him by round three) but YOU CAN’T SPELL??????

What in heaven’s name are you doing in a Customer Service job, where I am going to guess most of your day requires you input things into a computer?  And the rest of the day requires you to read the screen and follow along?

Get your butt to a tutor, an aunt, a neighbor, a local library (even bankrupt Detroit’s vast library system is still up and running) and learn to read for mercy’s sake and get the heck out of a Customer Service job until you can.  How many days did he expect to last?  How horrible for him (and us callers too).

This must not be a question you can ask in an interview anymore – can you read?  Because that could be offensive and embarrass the person.  Not that this doesn’t reflect on your company at all and embarrass you whatsoever.  

I may not be able to afford you, but if I could, I would expect your company to be able to help me, which it clearly can’t.  

When I get the nerve to try again, (I gave up today)  I will call and cancel the catalog, as there are two other home goods catalogs that come to our house – one we can afford and another that also is a dream book.  I guess one dream company catalog is more than enough – what do I need two for?  Plus, they only send me three books a year – more competent already…..

Happy catalog season to all and to all a good night!!