Pants OnThe Ground

Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking like a fool with your pants on the ground…

This picture is not the guy I actually saw, but it is a good representation, found this picture on the internet – (thanks internet)!   

The reason we have to use a substitute photo is because I was a bit slow to get the camera out and snap a shot of the real guy, so let me paint a picture for you.

Sitting at a traffic light, there are a group of twenty-something’s on the corner.  They start to cross the street and one of the boys pants fall down.  

This of course catches my eye, but my brain doesn’t react quickly enough to actually figure out what I just saw and get my camera out.  Until he pulls his pants back up to a point, at about the bottom of his butt cheeks, then I realize his pants just fell off his body!!

Now the light is changing, his friends have all made it across the road, but he is still in the middle of the street and now he has to run.  But of course he won’t pull his pants all the way up, because – well that just isn’t his style.  So he is trying to run to beat the traffic and he is all bent over because he is holding his pants up – hands at his crotch.  I’m just staring in amazement thinking – just pull the darn things up to get across the street – you can re-position them at the bottom of your ass cheeks when you get to the corner.  

But nope, he is skipping and hopping, all crouched over, hands holding up his pants in that awkward spot.  

I’m waiting for him to fall on his face and really, if he weren’t in his early twenties – I’m quite sure he would not have been able to balance himself in this little giddy-up hop run and would have surely landed on his head.  Which of course would have been better than pulling up his pants how?   

Then again if he were any older – his pants wouldn’t have been on the ground in the middle of a busy street.  They would have been up somewhere between his hips and waist and would have stayed there when he walked.

By the time he reaches the corner, his groups of friends are laughing uproariously and quite frankly they should be, it was quite a show!

Then I wonder – how many times a day does this happen?  And what if you wear the wrong boxers, you know the ones without really good elastic at the top – does everything fall down?  And what’s with the belt?  Um, it’s not doing ANYTHING…  

Does anyone find this style flattering?  How come they don’t get teased?  This used to be called “Pantsing” when I was a kid – you know, where someone (other than gravity) would come up behind you and yank your pants down – by no means funny for the person involved in the Pantsing.  So why is it cool now to have you pants fall down doing something as simple as walking?  

And again really – the belt?  Son, in case your parents or friends never told you - it’s for holding things up, not weighing things down like and anchor.  I would also tell you if you had spinach in your teeth.  You’re welcome!

(Pants on the ground lyrics by Larry Platt)