Translate

Monday, November 12, 2012

Eau de Toxic Vanilla





Now here is something in the history of mankind I never knew existed or was necessary.  Please look closely at the label – ah yes, it is VANILLA SCENTED CAULK!

Let me say that once again VANILLA SCENTED CAULK!!
 
Who on earth – Why in the – What possessed – When did this – and How is it - ?????  

Did caulk need a scent?  It has a scent, a pretty toxic scent, but a scent none the less.  Now that scent is combined with the smell of vanilla to make a vanilla toxic scent – does it come in chocolate toxic smell too?  Are children now in danger of discovering scented caulk and having it become the replacement for the old glue/paste that used to come in those brown jars with the dabbers?  

Were the tradesmen of the world complaining that day in and day out they never got smell anything other than paint, caulk and sawdust and wouldn’t it be nice if lavender, vanilla, or hell even coffee scent, was added to their work supplies to wake them up in the morning and make them smell like a pretty scented bean?  You know, just a more enjoyable day overall – while up on ladder ten feet above ground – sniffing epoxy…

Here’s what really scares me, women get a bad enough rap in the world of skilled trades, craftsmen and home improvement, like we don’t know how to do anything and only use pink tools.  Did some fool woman executive come up with this to appeal to the ladies so we would want to do more around the house and be more handy?  Make it enticing to the Little Lady of the house… we hear they buy lots of vanilla scented candles, let’s go with that!

 I purchased this, unaware of the Vanilla Scentedness of it all.  If some polling group was staked out in the store watching the purchases of caulk by women, would I have verified to them as proof that adding scent was working?   See, a chic just bought some of that crazy vanilla scented caulk!!  Executive Suzie Polly Anna was right!!

I bought this to seal up the windows for winter – I do it every year - me, all by myself, on a ladder in the yard, every fall and spring.  Years ago I had Plexiglas inserts (Perspex for you Europeans) cut to size for each of the house windows and I stick them up every fall to act like the old storm windows used to, only better.  It gives us a third layer of protection from old man winter (and greedy man gas company) and virtually makes the house sound proof.  

I thought this was pretty cool idea years ago and so far it has worked great!  I use the peel and seal removable caulk for easy take downs and clean up.  The first year’s brand of caulk (over ten years ago) came in a blue spray-ish kind of can that didn’t need a caulk gun, they don’t make it anymore, but I found this stuff and I stock up on it every year.   

And now, lucky for me – the girly girl that I am, they made it smell pretty too, so I can feel oh so good about women’s liberation and my ability to caulk things all by myself.  Hey, can you put it in a bubble gum pink can next year and sell me a new caulk gun in unicorn purple?  I don’t think women have been demeaned enough yet.  

Oh, and maybe you can make it smell like my favorite perfume – I like Beauty by Calvin Klein.  Yeah thanks – tee hee tee hee, swirl my hair on my finger….

Oh and I bet if you polled the boys, they would rather have it beer and sausage scented instead, maybe you can do a research panel on that?  Brilliant!