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Friday, January 3, 2014

Sketchy Start



Let’s just say I brought in 2014 screaming like a banshee woman at the top of my lungs and not in a good way – is this a bad omen for the year to come?  

So, doggie number one – Gunnie (the good girl) asked to go outside at 11:58pm.  I was not a fan of this request as the celebrations had already begun in our neighborhood.  

Why was I not a fan when all the good old doggie wanted to do was go out for a piddle?   

Well because the celebrations around my neck of the woods consist of more than just fireworks and cowbells - semi-automatic and single shot gunfire is a big part of the “Ringing in of the New Year” in these parts.  You see we always stay inside (or away from) the house for the hour surrounding New Years – just a logical move on our part.

So, as I was trying to judge how close the closest gunshot sounds were coming from (I decided they were as close as the corner of the block, i.e. two houses away) I was really leery about letting my doggie out to get hit with random fire.

So I moved her quick, pulled her in right after the piddle and she came in the house and looked at me as if to say “Lady – you think I’m done?”  So back out at 11:59 we both went so she could have a poo.  All very reasonable – she can’t hear very well, the firecrackers and gunfire were nothing for her, I on the other hand, was on guard watching for something to come down out of the sky that wasn’t a pretty snowflake.  

All done, back in the house – no problems – what was I worried about???  We’ve lived in this area 18 years, no random bullets have ever rained down on us.  Pshaw – silly me…

And now it’s the New Year - Hurrah!!  Should be kissing my husband, but I’m not.

Now, you think you know where I’m going, but it’s different – and yet familiar at the same time.  There were no stray bullets – we we’re as safe as we ever have been here – the screaming, well – that came at 12:01.

The other dog, you know Rosie (the not good one) yeah, well we come into the house and I look at her and she is having a squat on the floor, Really???  Was I just not outside TWICE with the big dog in the last three minutes.  TWICE – in three minutes – have I mentioned TWICE?  She is unbelievable.

So yeah, I’m concerned with how this year is going to go – since it is generally expected that you bring New Years in smiling, toasting, singing, celebrating and kissing your beloved –and not screaming like a crazy person at a 17lb dog whom we should have named Trouble.

Carpet scrubbing task completed – I finally kissed my husband at 12:45 – who was staying as far away as possible from me as he could – no one wants to smile and bend over to kiss a livid woman on her hands and knees with a bucket and scrub brush at midnight on New Year’s Eve – that’s just not how it’s done….