Monday, January 20, 2014

Say What You Mean

We were going out for dinner and a few drinks at a very popular bar in a hipster part of town and as we entered posted on a most professional sign was this information…..

Here’s the thing – is this really a problem?   

And as you read it, you realize that is has been made very generic, there were specific targets of “style”, but someone dumbed it down.  I think they really should have said what they meant.

I mean the most minor of requests on this sign is “Must Have Shoes” – who is walking around the city without shoes??  Or if you really want to get technical, it should say “Must Wear Shoes”, because I am sure most everyone HAS a pair of shoes.

And what if your hat is supposed to be worn sideways, like a ladies 1940’s hat pinned to the side of the head – it could happen, a girl could get retro fancy for a night out.  Again, don’t they mean trucker baseball caps?

And sleeveless shirts?  Umm, I suppose putting “No Wife Beaters” would be a bit crass.

As for the underwear showing, I know where they are going, like please wear your belt fastened securely at your waist and not your knees.  

If I may, I would like to also add, no visible plumber’s ass crack.   

Again, the hubby and I were having a few beers (at another bar) the other night and this guy was very proud of – and I quote – his “Back Vagina”.  Yeah thanks buddy, NO ONE, needs to see your large hairy lower back area and once that awful visual was proudly given a name, it really is seared into your eyes pretty much forever.  

And what’s the problem with athletic pants?  I don’t get that one.  Ohhh, I bet they mean pajama bottoms on women.  You know how ladies walk around in public in PJ bottoms and think they are acceptable outerwear.  That must be it.

But beyond that, it seems you are allowed to go barefoot and sleeveless in your athletic pants, with your underwear showing all the while wearing your hat crooked at any other time of day but during prime bar hours?

I made them a new sign, because what they really meant was this:

Of course there is no mention of going shirtless, therefore – if Justin Bieber can pull his pants up and take the crooked trucker cap off, he would be welcome in this establishment.  Not that we want him anywhere near our state, but apparently there is no law in this eatery against shirtlessness.  Bad call.