Friday, September 14, 2012

Golden Bullet of Fur

Remember how I told you we watched the neighbor’s doggie for a couple of weeks this summer, well I didn’t fully mention her energy.  Since she’s a sleek little wiener dog, it would make sense that she had bullet like tendencies, although I had never really met a bullet dog in person before. 

I did know that she could jump vertical while on a leash to a height of two or more feet above what she would stand if she were on her hind legs.  This is something she would do to greet you when you visited her on her zip line runner when she was outside at her house.   This talent would also come into play say for catching moths, flies, hornets, imaginary dots in the air.  I have never seen a dog wiggle airborne, vertically, two feet off the ground, while attached to a leash, in sheer ecstasy at the prospect of catching a little white moth.  Off you would be on a walk and bam, vertical leap, bug gone!  If she weren’t less than a foot tall, she would be a great addition to anyone’s basketball team, as balls are a part of her entertainment area as well.

Now on to the furry golden bullet bit…

Do you know that comic in the Sunday papers about the pirate ship and the Golden retriever named “Louie”? Well, that is not an exaggeration.  I now know that dogs can fly and apparently it has something to do with having Golden Retriever bits mixed in your genetics.  In the comic, every time the pirate brings home the groceries, the dog flies through the air and knocks his favorite owner pirate guy down, and everything he has in his hands goes down too – so presumably the dog can get at the groceries spread out nicely on the floor and have a little snack. 

Every morning around 6:30am, not my best time of day, I would go over to Suzie’s house to let her out and give her breakfast.  I figured in a house that normally has kids zinging through it on a regular basis, Suzie might be used to an early morning routine.  

The first day I came by, Suzie barked (i.e. howled) when I came to the door and put the key in, after the first day, she only cried while waiting for me to turn the locks. Smart dog, learned my key turning noise in a day.  She was always very, very excited and did that vertical thing jump when you came in.  You had to move her outside quick to avoid the “happy to see you piddle” in the house and she cooperated with this thought process for about the first four days. 

Day five, it’s 6:30, I’m basically in a walking stupor that early in the morning, but I’m settling into this routine: Open door, get her outside asap, walk her around the neighborhood, go back to her house, feed her, go back home for three hours, sleep, awake again, go over and walk her again, bring her to our house, kiss my dog on the noggin and tell her it’s temporary, brew a cup of coffee, start my day.  

But no, day five I’m on my ass in the neighbor’s driveway.  Some sort of Neanderthal grunt escapes my groggy system and Suzie’s on my chest.  Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, big brown eyes greeting mine.    I’m stunned now sitting in the driveway, trying to get her on a leash and I realize I’ve just been hit by a horizontal flying golden bullet of fur, rocket launched off the top step on the landing; she’s Louie in the flesh!  

She is a rescue dog, maybe the comic strip guy lost his puppy and he keeps including her in the strip in case someone recognizes her and sends him an email saying –“Hey, I found your missing pirate dog.  She’s alive and flying high in the metro Detroit area”!  

Our dog doesn’t fly, in fact, none of the dogs we have ever had flew and I bet if Suzie straightened out those floppy ears, she might land a little more gracefully.  I think I’ll go over and offer that thought up to my neighbors right now.  Then again, they never warned me about her aerial acrobatics, maybe I’ll just open the window a little wider the next time I see them pull in the driveway and listen for the THUD!

Flying dog indeed.