Friday, November 14, 2014

Mother Nature, I'm Worried About You

I know it can all be very confusing, calling the weather patterns Polar Vortexes, Arctic Oscillations, El Nino, La Nina –etc,  but this has never bothered you before.  You have headed us out of the Ice Age and into Global Warming (a natural progression perhaps?? Of course the Dinosaurs may not agree – damn cavemen and their campfires….).

But I would like to share the date with you – it is November 14th, and that alone means it is officially Fall.  Ok, so we have that part right judging by the pile of Oak and Maple leaves we have raked into a pile in the street.

Also shown above is a bright green lawn, which in NOT a part of Fall.  Matter of fact, a bright green lawn is not even part of the end of Summer.  Generally all goes brown from heat and lack of rain sometime in late August, but no this year with all the flood producing rain – we are still mowing the pretty lushness of it all in mid November.  Weekly – like it was June or something! 

I’d like to address the snow now.  Please, didn’t we have enough last year (all the way through April)?  You remember last year, there was so much snow, we had nowhere to pile it up anymore, after each snowfall our roads got thinner and thinner, until we were driving down tracks in the middle of the street – and they were plowed!!  It is only November and while we do live in Michigan, which is known for its beautiful snowy Winters, um, it’s NOT Winter yet – can we please not rush things along?

Ok, so what have we learned from this Miss Nature?  That is it Fall – yes ,that it is indeed Fall.  And we need the rest of the leaves to drop from the trees before you cover it up with a blanket of icy white stuff.  And when do we cover things with icy white stuff?  Yes, that is correct Winter, Winter is when we cover the land in snow. 

Shall we touch upon the lovely green lawn, contrasting with the dull gray skies and dormant brown trees now?  Yes, good, the lawn also goes dormant and maybe you should make that happen immediately, so we are not out in our hats, scarves, mittens and winter boots mowing it – that is just not natural – its 30 degrees, I can see my breath.  The beauty of all things green should have left us by now, it just looks odd.  

Lest I forget, can we address the 30 degree weather too?  Yeah, that is also an early Winter temperature for the daytime – remember low 50’s and high 40’s?  Great – well, that’s where we should be right now – so can you also correct that?  The deer hunters and the Thanksgiving Parade goers would appreciate it highly.

Thanks Mother Nature – if you need anything, Kleenex, Nyquil, some Aspirin – just ask – I’ll be happy to share.  We need you better soon, because this is all wrong, so very wrong.