Neither Rain, Nor Snow, Nor Heat.....

Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night, stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.  This is the Postal carrier’s creed.

Apparently it does not apply to dead end roads with two houses on the street.  Nope, no where do I see mention of dead end roads in the creed – so I guess this is ok?

What is this?  Well, this is our mail.  And the poundage of the mail in the rubber band that the poor Saturday lady got stuck with, because the regular carrier did not visit us for a couple days (5:8.4 lbs).  

You see we don’t get our mail every day and neither does our neighbor. 

We joke about it and a popular question between us is “Did you get any mail today”?  But really, it’s crappy.  We can be standing on the front lawn, looking down the street and we see the carrier go by and purposely not turn up our street.  

Complaining would be pointless, as the carrier is in complete control.  Who is to say we would get ANY mail if we made a fuss.  So instead, almost SIX POUNDS of mail was rubber banded together throughout the week and saved for the one day a week Saturday carrier…. If you ask me, THEY are the ones that should be grumping, must make for one heavy bag!

Oh, and when we do get mail, there is no guarantee the mail is ours.  Quite often we get other peoples mail, on other streets, we even get mail for other cities!  All of this confuses me, but I suppose, nowhere in the creed does it say the mail has to go to the right house either.  

One time we got a vacation bundle from someone who had stopped the mail for what must have been a couple weeks. Really?  The address of where this big vacation bundle goes isn’t important?  Of all the things to mess up – that one seems crazy.  Of course, if you don’t deliver to our house every day, I suppose you wouldn’t know that we weren’t on vacation too, if the carrier had bothered to make deliveries, it should have seemed obvious – but alas. 

So, next time you are shopping for a place to live and the two house cul-de-sac looks delightful, just remember – you need a very LARGE mailbox because mail delivery is sporadic, it's as if you live in the Alaskan Tundra and the bush plane can’t get out everyday due to storms… but of course, the weather is covered in the creed…

Better Than Free!

Look at this invoice (pic taken off my computer screen), it’s the best thing ever!!  Well, for me that is, probably not so much for the store….

I had bought something from a well known outdoor company, got it and didn’t like it.  So I sent it back.  

A week later in the mail they sent me a $15 reward certificate for my purchase.  Fifteen bucks, no restrictions, just cold hard cash.  

I ignored it for a month, thinking it would be revoked once they figured out I returned the item, but no – I got an email reminder telling me to use my money before it expires.  OK, I will, as soon as I figure out what I can get for 15 bucks. 

THEN – they send me an email telling me they are giving away large percentage off code to their best customers.  WHAT?  Now I have 15 free dollars and a substantial percent off code having done nothing (but return the item I originally bought…)?

But wait, there more!  

Another email comes out telling me they are offering free shipping for the weekend.  Oh my, this cannot be ignored. 

Surely they have something on clearance I must have.  And it won’t be offset by shipping costs – this is beautiful stuff!  Like a Christmas gift certificate, only no one paid for it (ok, ok, except the store).

Let’s see, husband always needs socks, so socks become the target of the shopping.  I of course find some nice ones on clearance, you know performance, sweat wicking, foot hugging, kind of socks and I still have a couple bucks left, so I get myself a pair of footies.  AND I still have some money left!

I decide that’s good, no need to use it all, I feel greedy enough already, plus I like the idea of everything being free.  Then at the end of the shipment they show they owe ME a REFUND.  I’ll be damned people, when the order came in the mail they sent a check for $1.70.

I got PAID $1.70 to take two pairs of socks off their hands, plus I didn’t have to pay for shipping.  Unbelievable.

Um, while this was fantastic stuff for me, might I suggest a financial audit?  I know, I know, it’s never a fun thing, but you see I like your company and really, would like to see you stay financially solvent and open – really, even though this worked out for me and possibly others, I think that if you look at your books, it’s probably not working out for you….

But hey –THANKS!!

Protecting the Goods

Earlier this summer we passed this giant wooden Paul Bunyan-esque fella and I thought – what is he doing?

Gotta love America, we have all this crazy crap on country roads, like giant blueberries, trout, cast iron ovens, massive balls of string, big wooden men – you get the picture.

Then I took in the landscape and saw that he seemed to be the mascot for a golf ball driving range.

Ohhhhh – look someone made a funny – he’s protecting his “package” – hahaha.  See, his hands are placed very scientifically in front of him.

The next time we passed him on the way out to Harsens Island, I had my camera ready.  I was going to get this guy with his hands out front protecting him from those wayward golf balls.

Like really, if a golf ball hit your hand, wouldn’t that hurt like a bitch too??  Maybe break a small bone even?  

Of course, he is wooden, probably would just make a THUNK sound and then the ball would ricochet back at your head.  Hmm, how’s that for justice, everyone suffers and it was a crap golf shot too (or a pun perhaps even?)  Sorry guys, this whole thing is kind of going there… 

Anyway, picture snapped, uploaded and now as I write this I see – he is NOT protecting his package, he is actually missing his giant golf club.  

Probably snapped it in half when someone hit his hands - silly hacker.  Now without a club he must have decided the best thing to do was to take up this stance.  

Really, you don’t see many guys as big as Paul Bunyan in this day and age, he has to protect the jewels if he is going to survive another 100 years.  It’s Natural Selection you know…