It’s no secret I order things online. You can order the stuff, try it on in the leisure of your home and return it if you don't like it - it's all very easy. Most of my clothes have been carefully selected out of some magazine. There’s a method to the selection process, the page with the coveted item is ripped out, the item is usually circled and the rest of the catalog is then put in the recycle bin.
From there the random ripped out pages are stacked in a pile and moved from room to room. This is done because 1) if I bought everything I circled in a magazine our house would look like a castle of clutter and 2) well, it takes money to buy everything your heart desires (on a whim) and until I’m feeling like we have a little extra cash, we don’t buy anything.
Once the shopping bug comes around full force telling me, buy, buy, buy and I approve her spending, it’s time to then go through all the torn out pages. And there are always A LOT. Which usually leads to a good belly laugh, just what exactly was I looking at on this page? Can’t be what I circled, that’s simply awful!
Then you search for discount codes, which could be the difference between the sale comforter at Wayfair and the sale comforter at Garnet Hill (both which have been coveted for at least two years now, luckily they are a best seller and they just change colors year after year, we may get one yet)!
That is if the call of Athleta doesn’t lead me to another piece of cool workout gear for rowing. Or how about Ann Taylor – that sweater is gorgeous and her sales are the best, I’m cold is that cashmere?!
Did we need something, what did we need? Oh yeah, vitamins from Andrew Lessman – is it a sale week? Can’t buy them unless it is a sale week, better look that up, the seasons don't change for vitamins, we can always wait for the sale.
Oh and someone has a hole in his boots, can’t go a winter without boots – now where are those pages from Foot Smart and Merrell?? I know it’s January end of year clearance time.
Free shipping is a must or I won’t even consider you. Now how much can I get off – 10-20-30%? Great thanks – you could be a winner. And are you in the ebates program? There's even more money back in our pocket!
So yes, I get a lot of catalogs, I call customer service and cancel those catalogs that I would never buy from (to save the trees) – you get on some kind of mailing list and suddenly random catalogs come in droves.
Which brings me to the picture at the top – the page showing the “The Fashion Tee”. Sure I could use a long sleeve T-shirt, its winter – goes well with jeans. But I think you missed your target market…
Now I do love the Wayfair and Garnet Hill and Company Store Catalogs that come, I look at them, tear stuff out and then never purchase from them because I cannot justify a $200 quilt “on sale”. But I like them, so I keep getting them -they make me happy (like dreams of winning the lottery do).
BUT there is a big difference in getting a catalog that offers a $200 quilt and a $200 T-Shirt. Yes, I said T-Shirt. You know something you can order from Old Navy for $6 and probably in the same color too – only it wouldn’t be called “Opal Melange” it would be called “Heather White”.
Just who do they think I am? Have they researched my zip code, sure rich people and extravagant spenders live everywhere, but I’m pretty sure that NO ONE in my neighborhood owns a $200 T-shirt (unless it was a gift) – no one.
So here’s to you pretty Opal Melange long sleeve T, may you sell out to all those ladies in Bloomfield Hills because you look like a very nice T-shirt and we wouldn’t want you to feel rejected – but the girls in the D, yeah – we’ll be sporting our Old Navy and we’ll be quite happy in it!
Better get on that phone before another one arrives.....