Charlie's Web

I have a pet spider.  He lives in the bathtub.  Well – he’ not really a pet, but he’s been there a couple weeks, so I feel like we’re family now. 

I saved him from my hubby who was doing a removal of a fly that had landed in the tub and of course, couldn’t stay there.  You know, flies have to go – but the spider – I requested he stay, so he did. 

He’d been here a while already and he seems to like the big white tub.  We don’t use it in the summer time – just for big long winter soaks and it gets a good scrubbing before anyone soaks in it anyway. 

When I first saw the little guy, he couldn’t get out of the tub.  He kept crawling up the side and sliding back down.  And yes I took a video, it was entertaining.   But over the passing weeks, he has been up on the edge a few times – so I know he can leave if he wanted to.  I don’t think he wants to.   

It’s like a big giant skateboard park – all to himself.

Do you think I should start charging him rent?  You know like room and board – because there has to be something to eat in there or he would have left long ago, yes?  Again, we always scrubbed the tub before taking a bath – now I know it has been a good idea, can’t imagine what he is living on – don’t really want to either.

 

What should I name him?  Oh I hope it’s a him – one little spider in the tub – ok, five thousand little spiders in the tub – not so much…. Maybe I should reconsider this arrangement?

Mom, Can I Have Some Bubblegum?

Sure honey – let me get you some change for the gumball machine.  

Do you think your sister will want a pinwheel and your brother’s some toy swords while we are right here at the machine?

Ohhhhh, um honey, let’s run inside and see if they have some gum at the counter – the machine here is broken, yeah that’s it “broken”.

SEXY UNDIES, yes, sexy undoes in a bubble gum dispenser.  Where are you in life that you think – oh wait, does anybody have a Pound (Dollar)?  I need to stop real quick at the vending machine and grab a pair of underwear.  Thanks!

My darling niece was in Brighton last month and snapped this shot for me.  

As far as I know, we don’t have anything like this in America.  At least, not at the outdoor markets that align the public family beaches.  Possibly inside the restrooms on the wall, but never on a sidewalk, next to the toy Swords, with kids pinwheels sticking out of the back of it.  And certainly not in a bubblegum dispenser.  No really – I would bet money on that.  

Is it really that much of a necessity that it is front and center in a prime outdoor merchandising location?  What do the English do with their underwear that they need a dispenser on the public sidewalk for them?   Should I research this as a business side?  Is there a decent profit margin on underwear contained in plastic bubbles, stuck in old candy dispensers at the Metro Beaches?  Is there??   

Yeah, that’s what I thought – I'm pretty sure they don't sell well in England either.  I’m better off with my bet above….

 

I Classify You as Redundant

Ok, just so I have this straight – Monday through Saturday, you close at Midnight Sharp!

AND Sunday and Bank Holidays you also close at Midnight Sharp?

So, um, why not just print a sign saying “Closes at Midnight Sharp”???

If you only need four works to convey the message, you could make the words bigger so people can see the sign from just about anywhere, instead of having to amble up to it to read a whole paragraph that say’s the same thing - twice over?

But hey, thanks for the sign!

Merchandiser Humor?

I’m in the drug store the other day standing at the cosmetic wall looking for new mascara and I see this...  

I’m not sure, but I think Kate Hudson is completely the wrong choice of spokes model for a line of cosmetics called “Black Radiance”.  Might just be me, but I don’t think so.  

Plan-O Gram emergency, we have a plan-o-gram emergency – stat!!